Daddy, This Is It. Being-with My Dying Dad

Julie Saeger NierenbergI write to contribute to how we prepare, individually and collectively, to live and support the final chapter of life. In my freelance work, it has been my great pleasure to work with other writers as a partner in authorship, or as their editor and coach. During the months, weeks and days leading up to my father's death, I was present as much as possible. I was with him when he transitioned from this earthly life, so very privileged to be at his side. Later, as my sorrow washed over me in waves, I began to write our very personal story, and I connected with his memory, integrating my grief, through that effort. In 2013, I published the story as this short book. Since the book's publication, I have reached out to many grief and bereavement support workers, hospice and palliative care chaplains and end-of-life advocates with an introduction to my book. I make many valued connections as I reach out with this purpose. With one such connection, Victoria Brewster, MSW, I co-wrote and published another book called Journey's End: Death, Dying and the End of Life. This book offers unique and comprehensive perspectives, with over 50 contributors sharing their end-of-life experiences and resources.My most recent book is called It Is What It Is: Learning to Live with My Brain Tumor. And yes, I have a benign but seriously located tumor, and the book gives insight into how I investigated my options and ultimately made a choice about treatment. It's my hope this book can guide others who have received a serious diagnosis to navigate their own journey of medical decisions. Some of the chapters are humorous, others instructive. It is an intimate and very personal perspective.One week after its publication in 2018, my husband died of pancreatic cancer, adding another dimension to my previous experience with grief and bereavement. I find it harder to write about Earl's end of life than I assumed I would.Earl's abiding wish for me was shared as a proclamation: You will lead a good life, Julie. Just you wait and see. I'm doing my best to make that come true, and I am grateful to him for all his gifts, especially those that continue to inspire and enrich my life with every day that passes.