Chronicles of a Stage Five Clinger

Perhaps you're lucky enough to have recently met someone. You may be attracted to her. She may seem sweet. But do not, I repeat, do not be caught off guard. Are you prepared to recognize a Stage 5 Clinger when you see one -- before it's too late? How can you tell if you've encountered one of these specimens? Know the warning signs. Has your date ever: -Curled up in your back seat instead of exiting the vehicle when you attempt to drop her off? -Caused you to exceed your text message limit for the month -- in a matter of days? -Tricked you into meeting her mother? -Invited herself over during the game to give you a surprise? -Frightened other women just for speaking with you? If this sounds familiar, you need to run, not walk, to the nearest safe location. You are in danger and should take immediate shelter. That is, unless you're Jason Mitchell. Realizing the benefit that firsthand knowledge of this species could bring to his fellow man, and finding himself in a unique position to gather that knowledge, Jason has valiantly decided to take one for the team. Without reservations, he has crossed over to the other side. He has boldly gone where very few men have gone before and, luckily for the entire dating population, he has lived to tell the tale. No longer will the male population find themselves in this perilous situation without suitable mental armament. This invaluable field guide will take you deeper into Stage 5 Clinger country than any researcher has ever come -- until now. Chronicles of a Stage 5 Clinger is as valuable a resource as you will ever find. Arm yourself with the Chronicles, a beer, and a trusty wingman; you just might save yourself a lot of unnecessary grief.Jason: we salute you.