Story of a Young American Gay Porn Star

I grew up in a very small town and working class family where every penny counted and money was tight. Fear has been within me since a small child and it grew and grew within me as I got older and even into adulthood. I knew the taste of fear and the smell of fear on an every day basis. As soon as I opened my eyes in the morning fear was there and it was there as I went to bed at night I was shrouded in fear. I was petrified of planet earth and the people in it. I had nothing in common with planet earth and I became Isolated. I was a complete loner and I had absolutely nobody I could talk to or relate to about my problems. I was walking anxiety and petrified of every day. I knew I needed help when on more than one occasion I would leave my house only to find that my body would freeze up and my legs turning to jelly and I would become a walking anxiety attack. I spent many years in and out of therapy and through therapy I got to understand myself and my fear's. It was all down to painfully low confidence, self esteem and self worth and my fears of my sexuality. I thought nothing of myself so why should anybody else and I was psychologically bullied and laughed at even into my adult life. I did not live like other people and I was painfully shy and very reserved and Inside myself I was screaming for help. I can only thank god for my creative abilities which I was born with to tell and share unusual stories. They say write what you know and put yourself into your characters which I have done and it has helped me to the point of keeping me sane and maybe even alive. Fear is a huge part of my characters and I have put them in fearful situations simply because I fully understand what driven fear can do to the human mind and body over many years.